Have you ever noticed how there are no Asian martial artists? I mean, there are, but they're not winning any championships. Every UFC is won by white or black guys. The Asians don't even compete. If they did try they would get beat so bad. MMA is the only real form of fighting, that's why the Asian fighters don't even try to enter UFC.
Everyone knows someone like The Overtalker. This person, who seems to be present in nearly every culture in existence, is one of those types of people that just doesn't get it. If the title alone doesn't explain exactly who this person is, let me explain briefly.
I travel to Japan, a lot. Well, I did until I started getting hardcore back in to classes, which leaves me without the free time anymore. Anyway, during that time, the primary flight out of Minnesota to China was a connecting flight that landed in Narita, Japan. Thus, inevitably, I would be sitting next to some businessman who had just come back from China, and they felt it their duty to correct my course of study.
I have, for the past 6 years or so, studied Japan, Japanese language, culture, history, etc. Why am I doing this? It's rather simple, I like Japan. More often than not, when stuck on a flight for 12 hours sitting less than 3 inches from another person, you start a few conversations. My conversations on these flights to and from Japan? "You're wasting your time, China is what you should be studying."
Thank you, random sir. What is it you did in China again? You speak of the thrilling and expanding economy of the world's largest political party. The Communist Party of China. You, sir, must obviously be some high level exec, in the top floor of a 200 story building, with a room made entirely out of windows and glass furniture. Your intuition has found that this was the opportunity of a lifetime, and now you're just sitting pretty.
Oh, you sell tires. For construction equipment. That's building a road, because the country isn't even connected by infrastructure yet. Oh well, at least just physically being in the country for a week every few months promises you to a huge bonus check, right? No? You never see your family? You never learned the language? You're immersed in a culture you know nothing and don't care to learn anything about? Thank you, sir, for your insight! This sounds amazing!!
Why must I justify myself on every flight that I take to Japan? Is it not enough that after 2 years, I know more about my country of choice than you have learned in over 35? Not only that, but you can't even write their numbers. You tried to show me, you tried to show me how the Chinese draw their numbers. I tried to politely correct you, saying "I actually think the character for 6 doesn't look like a series of dots, and it has lines." You refused to be corrected though, insisting that 'this is how it is.'
How I wish you were an isolated incident, sir. You are not. You are on every flight, in every seat on that flight. Do you think that you hold some sort of Holy Grail of corporate knowledge that will unlock the key to fortunes? How would you even know, you sell tires. You leave the central urban areas as soon as you land, and pitch your goods with binders that you didn't even create, showcasing how great your traction is on various terrain.
Finally, China is not Japan. Don't assume that since I've studied Japan for so long, I can just decide one day that I think I'm going to know everything about China. You, sir, are the reason there's the ignorant American stereotype. You travel overseas, spend so much time there, and learn absolutely nothing.
You, sir, are an idiot.
I don't love China.
Here is a video explaining more:
- Mugabe isn't as bad as people think
- Why didn't Poland just overthrow the Nazis?
- Why don't the citizens of China fix their government?
Going back as far as grade school, I would often see other classmates riding bikes such as the pictured BMX bikes. They were small, easy to learn, and didn't have any pesky gears to fool with that all of the 'grown ups' rode.
As soon as we were able to grasp the concept of shifting gears when riding a bike, the world of 18 and 21 speed bikes soon followed. These were real bikes, they were faster, were easier to ride after learning, and could really get you some place if you wanted to go.
However, there were still people riding these BMX bikes. The best part is, these were 5'8 to 6'0 tall men that were riding these. These bikes are what, 2 feet tall? How can you even pretend to look cool when your knees come up to your chin.
Let's say you were riding a bigwheel. At least your bike sounds cool now. Instead you've got that voice of a kid following you wherever you go. "Way out far sweet freestyle kickin glidin" or whatever it's called these days.
I went to find some bmx terms on a slang dictionary, and it turns out with my previous attempt to mock the anti-literate terms often used by freestyle bikers, I actually gave them too much credit.
boing n. a suspension fork or stem; a dual-suspension bike is a boing-boing. "Mark's not going to feel much pain with his new boing-boing." boing-boing n. a bike with full (front and rear) suspension. Might possibly be considered offensive by certain owners of said bikes.
Honestly? I'm afraid to look in to this subject any more due to fear of brain hemmorage, but of course I will.
zone out v. a state of mind where you think you've reachedThe Zone, but you really just stopped paying attention to what you're doing. Usually used as an excuse for a particularly embarrassing biff.